We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
