Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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