I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
