she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
