i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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