Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
