He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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