I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
