its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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