I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
