I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
