We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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