You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
