guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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