I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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