matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
