you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
