I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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