My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
