Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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