I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize