you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He? As in you personified your dick?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
