we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
