Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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