Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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