Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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