its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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