Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
