I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
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Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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