I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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