Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
