I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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