Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
