yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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