ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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