i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
