when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
