North Korea, Best Korea!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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