Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
