Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
