This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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