Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize