hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize