with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
