some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
