I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We got so high we made milksteak
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
