You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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