You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
