I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
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