he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
