those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
