Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
