we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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