dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
