We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
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