Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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