bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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