ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
nutella sex= disaster
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
