Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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