i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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