did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
