I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
