How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
