Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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