Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
