D3 body, D1 cock
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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