Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
