i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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