for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
