right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
